Sunday, July 6, 2008

Cocktail of the Week #34: Sea Breeze

I did not look forward to drinking the Sea Breeze because of a stupid association I have with its name.

“Sea Breeze” is also the name of this nasty, high-alcohol astringent my mother insisted I use during the Eighties to combat the Heartbreak of Teenage Acne. While it certainly seemed to help in the pimple department, it also made my face feel tighter than Joan Rivers’ facelift. It also made me smell like I had been caught in an explosion in a Lysol factory for about half an hour after applying it. I guess the only side benefit was its tendency to clear out my sinuses better than a pea-sized nodule of wasabi paste. But as side benefits go, it was kind of like someone saying chemotherapy really helped with their weight-loss issues.

So you can understand, Dear Readers, why I approached this particular cocktail with apprehension. I was imagining it would taste the way the cleanser smelled (with light citrus overtones, that is).

I’m glad to write that I enjoyed it. In fact, I enjoyed it a great deal. This is a rocking hot summer drink!

Enjoy! And stick to alcohol-free face cleansers, if you can help it.

I wonder if any cocktails and exfoliants share a name in common…

Scoreboard.
Hits: 25
Misses: 14

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Cocktail of the Week #33: Tom Collins

I was looking forward to this one. It’s another venerable cocktail of the lounge era, like the Harvey Wallbanger and the Singapore Sling. The results unfortunately were… disappointing.

Don’t get me wrong! It’s a decent enough cocktail in its own right, but it seemed to be missing something. The gin was not jibbing with the lemon juice and powdered sugar. The drink tasted familiar, but somehow lacking.

The answer was easy to find: the only difference between a Tom Collins and that tiki bar favorite of ours, the Singapore Sling, is (drumroll please) cherry brandy! That’s right; a little cherry brandy is all that is needed to elevate a Tom Collins from a rather pedestrian drink to one of yummy goodness. Unfortunately, it stops being a Tom Collins at that point.

C’est l’vie.

We’re charting this one as a miss, boys and girls. I may have to chuck this one up to the luck of the draw. I feel if we had drawn this drink before the Singapore Sling, we would have rated it a hit. Mrs. Wit, on the other hand, feels a venerable gin & tonic would have been a much better use of the liquor involved.

Scoreboard.
Hits: 24
Misses: 14

Friday, July 4, 2008

Independence Day: No Kings = No God in Government

Two hundred and thirty-two years ago, today, we declared ourselves independent of the British Empire. We further declared we, as a people, had no need for aristocracy and that we would govern ourselves.

Eleven years later, in Philadelphia, we recomposed our government in the form of the Constitution. This amazing document unified the states under a strong federal government and made two amazing laws (of many, many amazing laws):
  1. The First Amendment
  2. The "No Religious Test" Clause
It is no coincidence that we cut both church and king out of any involvement in our government. We cannot depose one without deposing the other.

And how is that?

The European model for governance (for several centuries) worked like this: the church of the nation (typically Catholic) would declare God's support for the king, granting him divine right over his subjects; in turn, the king would see to it a healthy chunk of change from his tax base would divert to the church's coffers.

A nice, symbiotic relationship, eh?

If you don't believe me, consider this: when Henry VIII of England didn't get his way when he wanted to divorce and remarry, he did not just cut ties with Rome... he established his own church. He needed divine legitimacy to keep his seat of power, otherwise, the Vatican would have started pressing other nations to replace him with someone more suitable (for their own pockets, that is). Kings need divine backing for their subjects to buy into their right to govern. Churches need Kings (or some other form of political figurehead) to keep the money flowing in... because sometimes passing the plate just isn't enough to "pay the bills."

And just look at what is happening today. We have a "man of God" in the White House, and he's making sure our tax money is funneled to religious organizations. And men like Dobson of Focus on the Family are given legitimacy by men like President Bush... and in turn, men like Dobson are treated like they have a right to be political pundits, picking and choosing who is more "suitable" to administrate the United State of America.

And next thing you know, too many people are claiming there is no such thing as "separation of church and state," despite the fact it is written as the first item on the Bill of Rights!

Everyone: if you love your country (as I do), read the Constitution. Read the Federalist Papers. Read the letter Thomas Jefferson wrote to the Danbury Baptists. Keeping religion out of government is more than about taxes and affiliations: it's about keeping dictatorship at bay.

As long as all human beings in this nation may believe (or not, in many cases) as they wish, then no one may persecute them for disagreeing. The atheist and the theist can co-exist, as long as each group is managed by a completely secular government; one devoid of interest in showing preferential treatment for one group over another.

And is that not the greatest thing of all?

Keep America's system of government great.

Keep it secular.

Cocktail of the Week #32: Irish Coffee

My wife hates whiskey. Or at least, she thought she did.

To her, all whiskeys seemed to taste of glue. Some faintly, others overpoweringly. And being the kind of husband I am, I regularly begged her to try different whiskeys, thinking sooner or later we would find one she likes.

We did: Irish whiskey. I little research lead me to discover the reason why... no corn. Whiskeys made with corn (that would be almost every American and Canadian variety) or aged in barrels previously used to age corn based whiskeys (a surprising number of scotches, believe it or not) would make my darling Mrs. Wit wrinkle her nose in disgust. But Irish whiskey, which is fairly wheat-and-barley only, is something she finds fairly pleasant. Once we discovered this fact, the tasting of the Irish Coffee for Cocktail of the Week changed for her from something to dread to something to anticipate.

This is a delightful winter night's drink. Or after a good meal, late at night, when you have dinner guests who plan on sleeping in the guest room, anyway.

Scoreboard.
Hits: 24
Misses: 13

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Cocktail of the Week #31: Kir Royale

One of Mrs. Wit's favorite liqueurs is Chambord, a french raspberry concoction that performs absolute magic on medium and lower quality champagnes. A splash of the stuff in some Cook's absolutely transforms it into a treat beyond reckoning.

When we drew this one from the deck, we were pretty sure what to expect. But we were not prepared for having a difficult time finding creme de cassis: we tried searching for it at no less than three good liquor stores, with no success.

It turns out it's fairly easy to find supermarkets. Go figure.

Chambord is better, but creme de cassis is definitely cheaper.

Scoreboard.
Hits: 23
Misses: 13

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Cocktail of the Week #30: Grasshopper

I have had this drink before, but only in its ice cream variation. It's quite delicious, and whenever I drink it, I feel a slight twinge of guilt.

Let's step into the WABAC machine to 2001 or thereabouts. One of my dearest friends was moving away to the West Coast, and I joined her and her wife for a farewell dinner at an Italian steakhouse. As we were entering, we all spied a bartender miserably working a blender to make a grasshopper. The blender was not cooperating, and she (the bartender) was clearly looking forward to being done with the task.

By the end of the evening, we were all feeling more than a little tipsy on Chianti and a wee bit mischievous.

Of the six of us present... five ordered grasshoppers. It was delicious, but I felt terrible for doing that to the bartender as I made the long drive home.

Despite the guilt, it's still a hit, even in this non-ice cream form.

Scoreboard.
Hits: 22
Misses: 13

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Cocktail of the Week #29: Harvey Wallbanger


Wallbanger? I hardly even know her!

Sorry. I could not pass up making that joke.

If you like a screwdriver with a hint of licorice (thanks to the Galliano), go for it.

If you find licorice an unpleasant flavor, don't bother.

We, however, loved it.

Scoreboard.
Hits: 21
Misses: 13